Tower

The Tower is Unlocked by gaining you first essence, which is earned by defeating the "No unlock" challenge.

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Text:

Welcome to the magic tower. Your essence allows you to enter.

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Options:

[Compress] some magic into essence (X mana stones): Turns mana stones into essence (permanent). The first crafted essence costs 1 mana stone and the cost doubles each time. Essence multiplies the production of all resources by (1 + essence/10) or (1 + essence*2/10) after buying the Essential oils upgrade (Floor 7 reward).

You currently have X power. [Spend] X essence at a rate of X essence per power: Simply uses essence to boost power. Power is used after entering the tower.

You currently have X toughness. [Spend] X essence at a rate of X essence per toughness:Simply uses essence to boost toughness. Toughness is used after entering the tower.

[Enter] the tower (Costs one mana stone): Enter the tower and start to ascend.

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Within the tower:
Within Each floor of the tower you will face a monster. Defeating the monster gives a variety of rewards. An enemies power is equal to their toughness.

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Action:
While fighting each enemy you will be presented with three options. Fighting works on a rock-paper-scissors system. Beating the enemy's move will damage them while receiving no damage, while using the same move will cause both to be damaged.

[Attack]: Beats Spaz.

[Dodge]: Beats Attack.

[Spaz]: Beats Block (Enemy's version of dodge).

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Tower Floors
Floor: 0. Text: "This floor contains a noodle. It's just a wet noodle." Enemy Health: 0. Reward: None.

Floor: 1. Text: "This floor contains a bowl of spaghetti. That's a lot of noodles." Enemy Health: 1. Reward: Cheaper Essence.

Floor: 2. Text: "This floor contains some linguini. These are evil noodles, I tell you. Eviiiil!." Enemy Health: 4. Reward: 1M time.

Floor: 3. Text: "This floor contains ramen noodles. Seriously, what's with all these noodles?" Enemy Health: 9. Reward: Extra mana (249 mana stones).

Floor: 4. Text: "This floor contains a guy named Mac. Finally, no more pasta. Oh wait, what's that? Dangit, looks like he has his own block of cheese with him" Enemy Health: 18. Reward: Extra Power (10 power).

Floor: 5. Text: "This floor contains the Flying Spaghetti monster. Well, it's finally come to kill you. Guess you shouldn't have beaten up all those helpless bowls of pasta." Enemy Health: 25. Reward: Extra toughness(10 toughness).

Floor: 6. Text: "This floor contains a shrimp. This is literally just a normal shrimp. How is it more powerful than the god you just killed?" Enemy Health: 36. Reward: Start with 600 time each prestige.

Floor: 7. Text: "This floor contains a chimp. Oh, now you're fighting a monkey. Of course. This is totally normal." Enemy Health: 49. Reward: MORE UPGRADES (Essential oils, Essential boosts, Essential Jewelry, AI Creation).

Floor: 8. Text: "This floor contains a blimp. Zeppelin, blimp, airship, dirigible, whatever you want to call it. Okay, I know that those mean slightly different things, but does it really matter if you're about to destroy it?" Enemy Health: 64. Reward: Another tower.

Floor: 9. Text: "This floor contains a pimp. He's about to mess up your face with his dope bling. Better fight back." Enemy Health: 81. Reward: Start with 20 purified mana each prestige.

Floor: 10. Text: "This floor contains a trimp. Wait, isn't that from a totally different game?" Enemy health: 100. Reward: Gain a new party member (Healer).

Floor: 11. Text: "This floor contains the monster under your bed. It's a completely different species than the monster in your closet." Enemy health: 121. Reward: Healer upgrade.

Floor: 12. Text: "This floor contains the monster in your closet. It's a completely different species than the monster under your bed." Enemy health: 144. Reward: Healer upgrade.

Floor: 13. Text: "This floor contains a vampyre. The y makes it spookier than your regular vampire. It also makes it much more flammable." Enemy health: 169. Reward: 100 fuel every prestige.

Floor: 14. Text: "This floor contains a glass of milk. Wait, what's so scary about this?" Enemy health: 196. Reward: Lowered cooldown on the tower of grinding. (-1 hour)

Floor: 15. Text: "This floor contains mr. skeltal. oh, no. he came to doot doot you because you didn't drink your milk. prepare your weak bones." Enemy health: 225. Reward: Gain a new party member (Warrior).

Floor: 16. Text: "This floor contains some random British dude. How nice, he's offering you some tea. And he just put in the milk before the tea. There's now only one reasonable course of action. KILL HIM!" Enemy health: 256. Reward: Spikey kneepads (5 damage per round)

Floor: 17. Text: "This floor contains the same dude, but angrier. Huh, turns out that if you attack someone, the get angry at you. He's really pissed off. And you're in a tower. That seems somehow familiar. Whatever, time to mercilessly kill him." Enemy health: 289. Reward: Warrior Upgrade

Floor 18. Text: "This floor contains a guy in a kilt. This is the british guy's brother. He has a kilt and a sweet sword. Good luck." Enemy health: 324. Reward: Sweet sword

Floor 19. Text: "This floor contains King Arfur. It's an adorable puppy with a sword in it's mouth. Ow! Bad dog!" Enemy health: 361. Reward: Nothing.

Floor: 20. Text: "This floor contains a pile of gold. This is a medium sized pile of gold. Probably big enough to pay off your student loans." Enemy health: 400. Reward: Another party upgrade.

Floor: 21. Text: "This floor contains a lawyer. It turns out that gold wasn't yours. You're now being sued." Enemy health: 441. Reward: Toughness becomes more affordable.

Floor: 22. Text: "This floor contains a suitcase of gold. You know all that gold you picked up? Well the lawyer put it in his suitcase. Also, the suitcase has legs and isn't happy." Enemy health: 484. Reward: Unlocks the tavern.

Floor: 23. Text: "This floor contains Kombast©™ Cable. This is the greediest company of all and they're here for your money!" Enemy health: 529. Reward: Gold and money for the magic bag.

Floor: 24. Text: "This floor contains The Entire Continent of America. No, not the people living there. You're fighting the continent itself. How did it fit in the tower? Don't ask." Enemy health: 576. Reward: Option for autobuild to repeat the last building.

Floor: 25. Text: "This floor contains Kristoffer Kolombus. The Legendary Explorer himself! He's rumoured to be the original person to find the mystical land of Canadia!" Enemy health: 625. Reward: 10 more autobuild spaces.

Floor: 26. Text: "This floor contains A Very Large Telescope. It's used for finding exoplanets. Also, you're fighting it now." Enemy health: 676. Reward: One extra autobuild space for every tower boss killed.

Floor: 27. Text: "This floor contains a globe. What's so tough about just a regular globe? Well, maybe the fact that this one is to scale. 1:1 scale that is." Enemy health: 729. Reward: More mana per prestige.

Floor: 28. Text: "This floor contains a little swimmy fishy. It's just swimming around." Enemy health: 784. Reward: Can kill the environment faster.

Floor: 29. Text: "This floor contains a little golden swimmy fishy. It's just swimming around. It's also very shiny." Enemy health: 841. Reward: Can kill the economy faster.

Floor: 30. Text: "This floor contains a little sparkly swimmy fishy. It's just swimming around. It's also very extremely shiny." Enemy health: 900. Reward: Even more mana per prestige.

Floor: 31. Text: "This floor contains A very sparkly mystical bowl of spaghetti. Mmm, magic spaghetti. You get hungry just thinking about it." Enemy health: 961. Reward: Halved cooldown on the tower of grinding.

Floor: 32. Text: "This floor contains A very sparkly mystical trimp. This isn't as tasty as magic spaghetti. Ugh, more fighting." Enemy health: 1024. Reward: Joe's Premium Iron Juice.

Floor: 33. Text: "This floor contains A very sparkly mystical skelton. DOOT DOOT!" Enemy health: 1089. Reward: A nice fruit punch. Wait, that label doesn't say fruit, it says face!

Floor: 34. Text: "This floor contains that one guy. Yeah, you know. THAT guy." Enemy health: 1156. Reward: The Essence Compressor.

Floor: 35. Text: "This floor contains test boss. test text." Reward: test_reward="essence_multiplier *= ascensionCount*0.01"

Floor: 36. Text: "This floor contains A really annoyed QA guy. He mutters something about not testing in production. It sounds really lame." Reward: Double Mana Mode.

Floor: 37. Text: "This floor contains Hackerman. Oh no, you've been hacked!" Reward: ERROR in tower.ts line ���: undefined is not a function. Enabling grind_tower_bank_mode.

Floor: 38. Text: "This floor contains The Client. Hey, what if you added balloons? No, get rid of those, they're terrible. Hey, what if you had it make my coffee? No, not black coffee, 3 sugars and 2 creams. Why won't it make me a latte? It keeps making my coffee with 3 sugars and 2 creams which is wrong. I found a bug: if I press this button, it makes me a latte when I actually want some tea. Hey, there's no lemon in my tea. Why won't it make me coffee with 2 sugars and 3 creams? Fix that NOW. Okay, new top highest priority item: ..." Reward: Decreased essence price.

Floor: 39. Text: "This floor contains Ninja." Reward: OMEGA MACHINE.

Floor. 40. Text: "This floor contains 1,000 ninjas. Fun fact: the more enemies you fight at once, the weaker each one is. Watch any Kung Fu movie for proof." Reward: a new star chart available at the Cath market. *After the purchase to access Ulgathor in Adventure tab.

Floor: 41. Text: "This floor contains Jackie Chan. Prepare to get rekt." Reward: some fuel for your ship.

Floor: 42. Text: "This floor contains that dang sneaky fox. Oh no! It's going to sneak into your house! And email your mom or something." Reward: something new at the omega bank.

Floor: 43: "This floor contains a cheese pizza. Yum!" Reward: NUKE button.

Floor: 44: "This floor contains a pepperoni pizza. Ooh, I love pepperoni!" Reward: void meteors.

Floor: 45: "This floor contains a limburger and sardine pizza. It smells kind of bad, but if you like it, hey, you do you." Reward: AI upgrade.

Floor: 46: "This floor contains a pineapple pizza. KILL THE ABOMINATION! BURN BURN BURN!" Reward: new event that can happen (time dilation).

Floor: 47: "This floor contains fuzzything44. Hey, wait! That's me! Stop! Ow!" Reward: AutoUpgrade (settings).

Floor: 48: "This floor contains /u/raids_made_easy. Do you know why the trading portal sucks? They broke it. They're why. They're the first person to find a ton of bugs and powerful interactions in this game." Reward: spikier kneepads.

Floor: 49: "This floor contains TheFool. Without them, tower ascension may not even exist yet." Reward: improved autobuild.

Floor: 50: "This floor contains Joevdw. The first person to monetarily support this game, along with MANY discoveries of major issues. Also, if this is you I guess this floor is just a mirror or something? Weird." Reward: new challenge, yay!

Floor: 51: "This floor contains Ye Olde Tavern. Crush the (other) Tavern!" Reward: keeps your time on prestige (except in challenge).

Floor: 52: "This floor contains Ye Olde Castle. Crush the Castle!" Reward: upgrade to mana purifier.

Floor: 53: "This floor contains Ye Olde Angree King. Oops, maybe you shouldn't have crushed that castle." Reward: new omega upgrades.

Floor: 54: "This floor contains Ye Olde Ye Olde. Things are beyond having to make sense by now, okay?" Reward: arcane seals. (HIGHEST LEVEL AT 4TH APRIL 2019)

Top of the Tower! (initially 31, but goes up by 4 every tower ascension). Text: "This floor contains the final tower guardian. It bounces around the room like a demented ferret, hissing and snarling as it goes." Enemy health: Floor number ^ 2. Reward: A mystical portal.

There is a shimmering portal before you. You sense that stepping through it will replace this tower with a bigger, better and harder one. It will also make essence much cheaper.

(This is Tower Ascension - you'll start again at floor 0, keeping all your essence and essence spent. 4 new floors will be added to the tower and it'll become more difficult. It also lowers the essence cost back to the base. Some floor rewards will be locked until you reach that floor again. Also, the small tower will become harder and gain floors at the same rate.)

1st ascension: enemies predict your moves more often?

2nd ascension: enemy HP doubled (maybe attack doubled too), essence from small tower doubled

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Another tower
This is a secondary tower that can be entered for one mana stone every 24 hours. Each floor only rewards essence and health doesn't regenerate between levels.

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[More to add need time]